I need to confess to all of you here in InternetsLand, right here, right now, one of my deepest darkest secrets. I am a compulsive list-maker. They exist in all manner of written forms, littered across the physical and psychic landscapes of my life. Dinner napkins, post-its, various journals, backs of receipts, plane tickets... the "list" goes on. I derive great pleasure from crossing items of said lists; so much pleasure, that sometimes, just to get the ball rolling, I usually start a new list with a thing or two I've *already* done, just to get my kicks giving that item the ol' crossero. So here, culled from several distinct lists, is my dream to-do list for the next 12 months... because I believe in deadlines as well as lists.
1. Move to Chicago. Just to try it out.
2. Move back to NYC. If Chicago sucks.
3. Assemble cabaret show for self and surpass crushing anxiety re:singing in public.
4. Let the Donald make me an 'honest gal.' Assuming this list doesn't freak him out.
5. Call my grandmother more often.
6. Purchase a pair of sassy black pants that both a) look hot and b) don't cut of circulation to feet.
7. Finalllllllly do the production of Othello that I've been pondering for well-on three years now.
8. Go on big real auditions. Seriously, Seremet. You can do this.
9. Read War and Peace. it's a book, not a paperweight.
10. Take a refresher Spanish course. And/or visit Spain and talk to everyone.
11. Make plan to cope with immense weight of student loan debt. Cry first.
12. Update classical monologue repetoire. Give Bertram's Helena a freaking break.
13. Write incredible, amazing, genre-altering dissertation. And/or pass.
14. Spend more time in sunlight.
15. Visit someplace from which my family origins can be traced to (NB: besides Pennsylvania).
16. Go back to my undergrad college for a visit.
17. Audition for a musical again. Do self proud and don't vomit during/after.
18. Shell out the bucks to see Warhorse in London.
So that's that. Eighteen easy-peasy tiny little tasks to accomplish prior to January 29th, 2012. Riiiight. But, there is something very satisfying to see all that stuff on paper - somehow, getting it onto a page makes it feel more important than if it's in my head. So that's that.
Sometimes, making lists of things I need to do sometimes overtakes the list I could make of the things I have managed to do so far in this life. So, here, I leave you with some of my stranger "accomplishments."
A. There is a book floating around in this world that is dedicated to me. In original drafts, the main female character was named Molly. Although the author and I have lost touch, it make me feel special to look at the acknowledgements.
B. I once entered a beauty pageant. I did not win. Surprisingly, I cried buckets afterwards.
C. I am a recipient of an "Ugliest" title in my hometown, for a particularly stellar Halloween costume one year. I was so crowned in my local newspaper.
D. Marlo Thomas, Brian Murray and Kim Staunton have all worn costumes that I've had a significant hand in creating.
E. I was a cheerleader for over eight years. And I was good at it.
E. I produced and performed in a one woman show in New York City that got decent reviews and was well-attended. Opening night is still the proudest moment of my life.
See? So, even if my current 18 hopes/dreams don't pan-out, I'll always be the Ugliest loser seamstress, going broke to working in NYC fringe, with small-run books in her cheery honor. Nothing like keeping life in perspective. ;)
Love,
TGI
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