"That Girl" is Unbearable!

Hey there --

I've been doing a lot of reading for my Masters' course. The texts have been a fairly even mix of critique, philosophy, anthropology and pyschology, mixed in of course with theatre/art practice analysis. I've been feeling like my brain is stewing a bit in all this dense theory, coupled with our seminar-style discussions of said texts. I needed some grounding when I got home from class this evening, so I picked up my Milan Kundera collection. Not exactly light reading I know, but it puts me in a very contemplative headspace that I find quite calming. I've been thinking a lot about Kundera's work in relation to the sort of discussions we've been having in class related to ideas of publics and institutions.

One piece of Kundera's text is really resonating with me lately in regard to this notion of "What is a public?" specifically as it relates to artistic practice. I've included the passage here:

"We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under. The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public. The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. they are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need. Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. one day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark. And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers." --Milan Kundera

I've been thinking a lot about this concept, and I think that Kundera sums up so perfectly the way I think of myself as a person and an art-maker. I love the explanation of risk that Kundera ascribes to each interaction with the public. There a lot of sophisticated things that I desperately wish I could express based on this, but I think I'd rather not try. I just want to put that out there, and keep it in front of me as I keep on keepin' on.

Love,
TGI