Or a 2, or a 4, or a 6, or, one some days, not even a size 8. She's curvy, womanly, fuller-figured, natural, buxom, round, soft, thick, flabby, substantial, fat, etc. Use whatever word you like to describe the fact that, if spandex is a privilege and not a right, then she probably should abstain. She likes eating far more than she likes treadmilling. It's unhip to admit that, by there you go. And it's cool. I love my body. That sounds like a warm-and-fuzzy thing to say, but it is honestly true. I like being the way that I am. I don't hate myself. I don't cover up under layers and layers of baggy clothes. I wear clothes I like, in current styles, even though I don't have a flat stomach (and never ever had, nor will ever ever have). And in fact, I like my body so much that I don't mind when a performance calls for revealing a lot of it. Truth is, I feel confident inside my skin, and that's what really matters.
Nevertheless, I've been called a host of incredibly offensive things, because I have the audacity to reveal my imperfect body to the light of day. It seems that, because I feel ok wearing a bikini on the beach at Coney Island, it is also all right for people (generally men) to criticize my choice, and mock my figure. Or, because I don't believe in wearing multiple pairs of Spanx underneath my day-to-day wardrobe, it gives a guy the right to tell me I'm 'tubby' when I turn down giving him my phone number at a pub. It's not my body that bothers people... it's my confidence in my own shape, my own size, my own skin. That unnerves people, I think, and is threatening because it seems to be outside of the norm.
And that "norm" is frightening. I've been following the story of Nancy Upton, a gorgeous and incredibly clever woman who entered American Apparel's recent "The Next BIG Thing" competition, ostensibly a response to media flack stemming from their official comment that plus-sized women "just aren't [their] demographic." That may well be, but to me, this is endemic of a larger problem. This attitude towards "plus size" (which at American Apparel means anything above a size 10 generally -- ridiculous, as the average American woman these days is a 14) feels more like marginalization and a push for invisibility than savvy marketing. It also suggests that I am not a woman, but a "plus size woman," my body shape and weight determining my identity. In the AA contest description, they ask for "bootylicious" models who want to fill out their various spandex wares to send in photos, which will be voted on. The name of the contest and the language and terms that apply to it are mocking, suggesting a divide between the normal current AA consumer, and the giantesses on competitive display. The wording feels so silly that it doesn't surprise me that, when entrant Nancy Upton crafted her submission, she did so with a healthy dose of irony and a wealth of body positivism.
If you're new to this recent event, check out coverage here. Her photos are genius because they both comply to the demands of the contest, and show off Upton's creative mind in tandem with her beautiful body. Yes. These photos of a curvy gal covered in food were probably not what AA anticipated receiving. They are extraordinary because they take they piss not just of a contest looking for girls with plenty of junk in the trunk, but highlight the fact that AA is not truly aiming to cater to a new demographic. Calling girls like me out on our body flaws is a marketing method predicated on self-loathing, and not one I am particularly keen to get on board with. While Upton won the popular vote in this contest, but, as the article above points out, she will not be modelling for the company, because AA wants someone who "truly [exemplifies] the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company." Apparently, creativity, sense of humor, body positivism and keen observation skills do not exemplify the mission of American Apparel.
To me, Upton's photos are genius, because she takes a central criticism of larger women in a modern American context and harnesses the power in it to turn it around on the fashion industry. She swims in food, covers herself in it, and gorges on it, making a spectacle of prevalent attitudes conflating curves with gluttony and a lack of self-control. The images are lush, made rich because Upton 'owns' this criticism, and throws it in our face. It's already a mindset propagated by companies like American Apparel, so why not use it to its best advantage. But, the bottom line here is that American Apparel had no intention of taking their own contest seriously. In seeking a "big" model, what they were really asking for was a somewhat-magnified clone of their current modelling stock, not someone who brings intelligence, humor and candor to the camera.
It's too bad that American Apparel feels that stocking clothes in my size is beneath them, as I really would enjoy protesting them. But, sadly, they're just not interested in self-loving fatties like me. Perhaps if I hated my body just a little bit more, I'd be welcome. But, that's just going to happen. Call me any name in the book you like, but you can't diminish my confidence in myself, jiggly bits (of which I have a lot) and all. Belive it or not, American Apparel, body fat percentage has no bearing on my "beauty." Just like the gorgeous Nancy Upton encourages us to believe, we DO INDEED embody beauty inside and out. Take pride ladies.
Love and 7 course dinners!
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